Can You Measure Up? Does it Matter?

I believe the following is attributed to the advice column Dear Abby:

A church was in need of a Pastor. One of the deacons was interested in knowing what kind of minister they desired. He therefore wrote the following letter, as if it he had received it from an applicant, and read the letter before the pulpit committee.

Gentlemen:

“Understand your pulpit is vacant. I should like to apply for the position. I have many qualifications that I think you would appreciate. I have been blessed to preach with power and have had some success as a writer. Some say that I am a good organizer. I have been a leader in most places I’ve gone.

“Some folk, however, have some things against me. I am over 50 years of age. I have never preached in one place for more than 3 years at a time. In some places, I have left town, after my work caused riots and disturbances. I have to admit that I have been in jail 3 or 4 times, but not because of any wrong-doing. My health is not good, though I still get a great deal done. I have had to work at my trade to help pay my way. the churches I have preached in have been small, though located in several large cities.

“I have not gotten along too well with the religious leaders in different towns where I have preached. In fact, some of them have threatened me, taken me to court, and even attacked me physically.

“I am not good at keeping records. I have been known to forget whom I have baptized. However, if you can use me, I shall do my best for you, even if I have to work to help with my support.”

After reading this letter to the committee, he asked if they were interested in the applicant. They replied that he would never do for their church; they were not interested in an unhealthy, contentious, trouble-making, absent-minded jailbird. In fact, they were insulted that his application had even been presented. Then they inquired as to the name of the applicant, whereupon the leader answered:

“The Apostle Paul.”