If You’re Not Sorry, You’re Not Forgiven

Bring your confessions, and return to the LORD. Say to him, “Forgive all our sins and graciously receive us, so that we may offer you our praises.
 – Hosea 14:2 NLT

Once again we’re back at the blog, Broken Believers, only this time, instead of hearing from Bryan, we have an article for you from Linda Kruschke. There are some excellent, very transparent devotional articles at this site, and you’re encouraged to click the title which follows to explore more.

Sorry, Not Sorry

Have you ever heard someone say those words? “Sorry, not sorry.” It’s kind of annoying. It’s said following a statement or action the speaker knows is unkind or won’t be appreciated by someone else, but they just don’t care. It’s worse than not saying sorry at all.

We humans have a terrible time admitting when we are in the wrong. There’s always some justification for our actions, often that we were wronged first, or we had no choice, or some such nonsense. Misunderstandings escalate into disagreements, which quickly become heated arguments, and nobody really wins in the end. Sometimes good friends end up enemies, all because no one will say those two simple, yet truly difficult, words: “I’m sorry.”

The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit. You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God.
 – Psalm 51:17

We sometimes have the same problem with God. We know we have not acted as we should, but we can’t let go of pride and say we are sorry. Scripture reveals the truth: a contrite heart is all God wants from us. He desires for us to admit when we’ve missed the mark.

The stories of King David and King Saul illustrate this principle. Both were in the wrong. David committed adultery, and then had the husband of the woman he slept with sent to the front lines of a battle, knowing he would be killed. But when the prophet Nathan brought David’s transgressions to his attention, David’s response was a remorseful attitude. He immediately fell to his knees and confessed his sin. And God forgave David.

Saul, on the other hand, committed a transgression that seems much less serious. He counted his army. Doesn’t sound like much of a sin, does it? But the heart of Saul’s transgression was a lack of trust in God. He didn’t believe he would win a battle even though God had promised him victory. Not only did Saul not trust God, he refused to confess his lack of trust. Instead he made excuses, tried to justify his actions. As a result, God took away Saul’s kingdom and gave it to David. And God did not forgive Saul.

David is remembered as a man after God’s own heart in spite of his many sins because a relationship with God was most important to him. Saul is not remembered so kindly.

What have we lost because we refuse to say we are sorry? A kind word, an admission of our own contribution to a dispute, can go a long way toward healing relationships. Is there someone you need to say “I’m sorry” to today? What’s holding you back? Is it a stubborn nature, like what often holds me back? What do you have to lose? What do I have to lose? More importantly, think what we have to gain.

What about your relationship with God? Is there some transgression you need to confess to restore the intimacy you once enjoyed with your Savior? What do you have to lose? You have the best God intends for you to gain.

 

Sinning Against Another, Sinning Against Yourself, Sinning Against God

^{NLT Ps. 51:3} For I recognize my rebellion;
it haunts me day and night.
⁴ Against you, and you alone, have I sinned;
I have done what is evil in your sight.

In the title of today’s article, the first two categories don’t exist. It’s a topic we’ve covered here several times, but all sin is sin against God. It’s his holy standards that we miss, not those of our neighbor or ourselves.

It’s easy to believe your own press, or as some would say today, believe the picture you paint on Facebook. You can buy into the image that people have of you. You can decide that nine-out-of-ten is good enough. You can rationalize that the ministry is still happening, people are still getting saved, money is still being raised, the teaching is still being distributed. You don’t admit weakness, that would be letting people down.

I can only imagine what it’s like when you’re the king, especially when your nation or state is somewhat theocratic in nature. Like King David.

Psalm 51 is his particular prayer of confession. In the KJV the words are iconic,

…my sin is ever before me.

David admits he can’t run and he can’t hide from the thing he has done, or the person he has become. It’s what he sees when looks in the mirror. He owns up to it. I believe that whatever sin we give into, no matter how private, no matter how secret; it will manifest itself at some point in some more open way. Bathsheba presented a tremendous opportunity — her husband was away at the time — but it wasn’t the first time David had looked at a woman. Or perhaps not even the first time David had hatched a scheme.

You don’t become an adulterer overnight. It happens when you have failed to pre-book your choices. It happens when you’ve never recognized your susceptibility. It happens when pride gives you spiritual over-confidence.

Then, again using the KJV, he says,

Against thee, thee only, have I sinned…

Jerry Bridges says, “We never see sin aright unless we see it as against God.”

• When you maligned your co-worker, you sinned not against them, but against God
• When you cheated on that test, you sinned not against the school or the teacher, but against God
• When you falsified that document, you sinned not against the organization or the government, but against God
• When you flirted with the girl in the grocery store, you sinned not against them or against your wife, but against God

You get the pattern.

Some of the resolutions people made at the start of the year are long broken. If they carried with them moral or spiritual significance, it isn’t just a personal letdown, you don’t just fail yourself, but rather it’s sin against God.

A key verse on this topic is,

^{I Sam. 2:25a} If one person sins against another, God may mediate for the offender; but if anyone sins against the Lord, who will intercede for them?”

The preceding verses provide the context; here’s how The Message expresses this:

^22-25 By this time Eli was very old. He kept getting reports on how his sons were ripping off the people and sleeping with the women who helped out at the sanctuary. Eli took them to task: “What’s going on here? Why are you doing these things? I hear story after story of your corrupt and evil carrying on. Oh, my sons, this is not right! These are terrible reports I’m getting, stories spreading right and left among God’s people! If you sin against another person, there’s help—God’s help. But if you sin against God, who is around to help?”

Perhaps you find the meaning of this rather self-evident. Several of the study Bibles and commentaries I consulted seem to gloss over it without adding detail. The Reformation Study Bible says,

Eli’s point is that while there may be some mediation of disputes between people, when someone offends God there is no one who can intervene.

The Wycliffe Bible Commentary noted:

When a man has a complaint against another, the matter can be decided by God through his representative, the judge (Ps. 82:3), or by the sacred lot in the hand of the priest. But in a case in which God is the plaintiff, there can be no reference to a disinterested party the crime incurs the direct vengeance of heaven.  (p.277)

Although the context is quite different, the language of that verse to me is always similar to Acts 5:39, “But if it is from God, you will not be able to stop these men; you will only find yourselves fighting against God.” What I get is there is a sense of God’s vested interest in certain affairs (though the verse means far more than that); it conveys the image of sitting across the table in direct confrontation with God.  You don’t want that.

^{Heb. 10:25} For if we go on sinning willfully after receiving the knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins.

^{Prov. 15:10} There is severe discipline for him who forsakes the way; whoever hates reproof will die.

In Daniel 9, we see Daniel praying on behalf of the nation:

“ ⁵ …But we have sinned and done wrong. We have rebelled against you and scorned your commands and regulations. ⁶ We have refused to listen to your servants the prophets, who spoke on your authority to our kings and princes and ancestors and to all the people of the land.

I can’t help but think as I read this that what he prays collectively has to begin individually, it has to begin with me. This is often contrary to our nature. We think ourselves righteous. It’s harder to pray:

But I have sinned and done wrong. I have rebelled against you and scorned your commands and regulations. I have refused to listen to your servants…

And yet, each time I ignore the commands of God, or rationalize some behavior, or allow myself some license in some area of thought or action, I am scorning God’s commands.

A pastor once said “you can’t always choose the place you live in, but you can decide where you are going to live toward.” He contrasted living toward Jerusalem with living toward Babylon.

I am not living toward Jerusalem 24/7. I am distracted by worldly ideas. If you’re a guy, are you tempted by the girl at the mall in the miniskirt? For me it’s ideas and concepts. One single phrase or sentence in an online article can be as devastating to me as the girl at the mall is to you. My worldview warps; my mindset skews.

Psalm 139 ends with the type of mind inventory I need constantly:

²³ Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
²⁴ Point out anything in me that offends you,
and lead me along the path of everlasting life.

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Psalm 51 – Worship Liturgy by Ruth Wilkinson

Show me your grace, Yahweh, according to Your faithful love;
erase my rebellion, according to Your overflowing compassion.

Wash away my guilt and cleanse me from my sin.

I know what I’ve done wrong.
I remember where I’ve missed the path.

I’ve done wrong against You – the only one who has the right to judge and to pass sentence.

But I’ve been going wrong my whole life, when what You want for me is integrity for my inner self.
And from within, You teach me deep wisdom.
You purify me.
You make me clean.

Fill my ears with gladness; fill my broken bones with joy.

Yahweh, create in me a willing heart,
an unwavering spirit,
the joy of Your salvation,
the presence of Your Spirit.

Open my mouth to teach the other rebels,
to sing Your righteousness
and to call the other sinners home to You.

Lord, break my heart and humble my spirit.
Because You don’t want just my stuff, or I’d give it.

What pleases You is the offering of a broken and humbled heart,
and what flows from there.

When my spirit is right with You, then You’ll delight in what I bring.
And You can have it all.

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Today’s article includes excerpts from When You Hit Bottom, Jerry Bridges Quotations, Owning It, Sins Against Another; Against God,

When You Hit Bottom and Things are Great at the Same Time

^{NLT Ps. 51:3} For I recognize my rebellion;
    it haunts me day and night.
⁴ Against you, and you alone, have I sinned;
    I have done what is evil in your sight.

I realized yesterday that I had hit bottom.

Let me qualify that a little, I realized that I had hit bottom in one specific area of my life.

You can actually be doing great in other areas, but have this one area where you struggle; where your responses are not always ideal; where your outlook or worldview is being shaped more by popular consensus or culture than by God’s Word.

Paraphrased, the first step of the classic “Twelve Step” program is, ‘We admitted we had a problem.’ It’s hard for people in ministry to do this. It’s especially hard for church leaders and pastors to admit such things. It’s really difficult when you’re a person that everyone looks up to and admires as a spiritually mature person to realize you see yourself as crashing in a particular area of life.

Instead, you start to believe your own press. You can buy into the image that people have of you. You can decide that nine-out-of-ten is good enough. You can rationalize that the ministry is still happening, people are still getting saved, money is still being raised, the teaching is still being distributed. You don’t admit weakness, that would be letting people down.

I can only imagine what it’s like when you’re the king, especially when your nation or state is somewhat theocratic in nature.  Like King David.

Psalm 51 is his particular prayer of confession. While I usually don’t use this translation, I want to quote from the second half of verse 3 and the first half of verse 4 in the KJV.

…my sin is ever before me.

David admits he can’t run and he can’t hide from the thing he has done, or the person he has become. It’s what he sees when looks in the mirror. He owns up to it. I believe that whatever sin we give into, no matter how private, no matter how secret; it will manifest itself at some point in some more open way. Bathsheba presented a tremendous opportunity — her husband was away at the time — but it wasn’t the first time David had looked at a woman. Or perhaps not even the first time David had hatched a scheme.

You don’t become an adulterer overnight. It happens when you have failed to pre-book your choices. It happens when you’ve never recognized your susceptibility. It happens when pride gives you spiritual over-confidence.

Then he says,

Against thee, thee only, have I sinned…

Jerry Bridges says, “We never see sin aright unless we see it as against God.”

• When you maligned your co-worker, you sinned not against them, but against God
• When you cheated on that test, you sinned not against the school or the teacher, but against God
• When you falsified that document, you sinned not against the organization or the government, but against God
• When you flirted with the girl in the grocery store, you sinned not against them or against your wife, but against God

You get the pattern.

Some of the resolutions people made at the start of the year are long broken. If they carried with them moral or spiritual significance, it isn’t just a personal letdown, you don’t just fail yourself, but rather it’s sin against God.

…I did not commit adultery or cause a neighbor to be put in the front lines of a battle to be killed. But I really felt I hit bottom in one particular area. One some might even dismiss. However…

If it’s big enough to notice, it’s important enough to deal with.

 

Removing Sin’s Stains

Invariably, when lists are compiled of what some consider goofy hymn lyrics, someone always nominates:

My sin, Oh the bliss of this glorious thought.

It is of course a little bit out of context; the hymn writer isn’t reveling sin; a better punctuation would be

My sin (oh the bliss of this glorious thought)
My sin not in part, but the whole
Is nailed to the cross and I bear it no more…

Or an option to the parenthesis would be what are called em-dashes:

My sin — oh the bliss of this glorious thought —
My sin not in part, but the whole
Is nailed to the cross and I bear it no more…

The writer is rejoicing in the thought of sins taken away.   Other writers of that era wrote

You ask why I am happy, so now I tell you why
Because my sins are gone
And when I meet the skeptics* who ask me where they are
I say, ‘My sins are gone.’

or

Mercy there was great and grace was free
Pardon there was multiplied to me
There my burdened soul found liberty
At Calvary

Of course, we don’t write those types of lyrics these days, and there is a whole imagery of sin forgiven and forgotten that is missing from contemporary books as well.  Corrie Ten Boom once wrote that God places our sins in the “sea of forgetfulness” and then put up a sign that said “no fishing.”   I once put it this way, “Forgetfulness is a human failing but it’s a divine attribute.”

Some contemporary authors have written that in fact God is capable of retrieving our sins from his celestial “hard drive” if He were to so choose, but doesn’t do so unless we happen to bring it up.  I think that misses the point of what we find in Psalm 103:11

He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west. (NLT)

And as far as sunrise is from sunset,  he has separated us from our sins. (MSG)

But experience is often a different kind of teacher:  Sometimes we do in fact wallow in our past sins.  It’s a technique of the Enemy to focus on our past failures so that we’re blinded to the truth.  The group Casting Crowns has a song that says,

I start the day, the war begins
Endless reminding of my sin
And time and time again your truth is drowned out
By the storm I’m in

What we need to do in these moments is remind ourselves of God’s faithfulness to his promise to cast our sin into oblivion.

Romans 8 — the passage many of you know as “There is therefore now no condemnation” begins like this in The Message:

…Those who enter into Christ’s being-here-for-us no longer have to live under a continuous, low-lying black cloud. A new power is in operation. The Spirit of life in Christ, like a strong wind, has magnificently cleared the air, freeing you from a fated lifetime of brutal tyranny at the hands of sin and death…

And then there are Jesus words in John 8 to the woman caught in the act of adultery:

The woman was left alone. Jesus stood up and spoke to her. “Woman, where are they? Does no one condemn you?”
“No one, Master.”
“Neither do I,” said Jesus. “Go on your way. From now on, don’t sin.”

~Paul Wilkinson

*Skeptics is how we would say it today; the original lyric is scoffers.