Table Topics

For those of you who don’t live alone, what do you talk about over breakfast, or lunch, or supper?

If you grew up in a tradition where the sacredness of sharing a meal was stressed, it’s possible that your conversations might take on a more spiritual tone, or delve into spiritual subjects. But in today’s rushed world, it’s possible that the formality of everyone commencing the meal at the same moment, and staying until everyone leaves at the same time has been lost to a pattern of family members not being gathered for meals, or worse, perhaps just filling a plate and then heading back to their laptop or personal computer. Conversations might be short, or even non-existent, giving a new meaning to the term fast food.

And let’s not even talk about pausing to “say grace.” That’s a practice that seems to be tending toward extinction, even in committed Christian homes. We’ll save that for another day.

And we also won’t get into the whole intimacy of “breaking bread” together, both in a Hebraic historic context, or in the spirit of the intimacy still experienced therein among people in Eastern cultures.

Rather, I want to consider table topics.

I started thinking about this when the verse in my NIV Bible App — the very first thing I open when I power up my phone for the day — was this passage from Deuteronomy 6:

⁶ These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. ⁷ Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. ⁸ Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. ⁹ Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.

The overall theme of the chapter might be described as lawgiving. The previous chapter contains a reiteration of the Ten Commandments, originally introduced in Exodus.

[Rabbit Trail: For an interesting comparison look at the similarities and differences between the Exodus and Deuteronomy versions of the Ten Commandments, click this link to a Jewish commentary.]

In the NIV, the whole chapter has the added heading “Love the LORD your God.” This is contained in a verse preceding our text for today, verse 5: “Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.”  When asked which is the greatest commandment, Matthew 22, Mark 12, and Luke 10 tell us that Jesus skips the “big ten” in Deuteronomy 5, and goes directly to the two verses in Deuteronomy 6:4-5 which immediately precede the two we’re looking at.

Which brings us to our verses. They might be summed up this way:

• input God’s commands on your hearts
• impart them to your kids
• involve them in your family conversations; morning and evening; even on road trips
• inscribe them on your hands (your work?) and foreheads (your thoughts?)
• imprint them at key places in your home.

(Like that summary? I just made it up as I was typing?)

The first two involves making God, faith in God, the knowledge of God, intimacy with God, etc., something that’s a major part of your everyday lives as individuals and as a family.

The last two are interesting because they talk about having a physical representation or reprinting of the scripture something you carry on your physical body and have as part of the décor of your home. That last one is probably posted in the offices of many Christian giftware companies, but today continues to find more literal expression through the use of the mezuzahs mounted on the doorposts of Jewish homes. Orthodox Jews also continue to literally tie the commandments to their arms and foreheads in the form of phylacteries. (Do a search engine image search if these two terms are unfamiliar to you.)

Which brings us back to that middle one, and the subject of today’s devotional: What do you talk about over breakfast, or lunch, or supper?

If your family contains people who have a mixture of beliefs, perhaps you live by the adage, ‘There’s two things you don’t talk about over a meal — politics and religion.’ But if you have a Christian family, discussions of doctrine, theology, or simply revisiting one of the gospel narratives should be the center of lively, engaging conversation. (We do this ourselves; some might find our meals like sitting around the table with a bunch of theology nerds. You would be correct in that assumption!)

This is not the same as talking about church. It’s not about reviewing why the pastor’s sermon seemed so long, or what can be done about the youth group spending far more than their allotted budget. It means talking about belief, Jesus, ethics, practices, prayer, missionaries; and perhaps also talking about world events in a Christian context, which is embodied in the idea of praying or preaching with the Bible in one hand and a newspaper in another.

It doesn’t mean you can’t talk about the hometown sports team, a planned vacation, or the latest report cards the kids brought home from school. But it means that the conversation is highly flavored with talk about God and the Kingdom of God.

Repeating that often overlooked middle part again:

Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.

It’s about first thing in the morning, last thing at night, and your commute to work, the latter of which, if you travel to work alone, is a great time to listen to Christian teaching on radio, or Christian podcasts you’ve downloaded, or an audio version of the Bible.

…My own heart in writing this is especially for those of you with kids still at home. BibleHub.com provides a related verse, Psalm 78:4.

We will not hide these truths from our children; we will tell the next generation about the glorious deeds of the LORD, about his power and his mighty wonders. (NLT)

Tomorrow, we’ll look back at some writing which first appeared here in 2014, which begins with this quotation:

A spiritual community that does not transmit its sacred writings to its children is one generation away from extinction.

Parents, you’re in charge. What does your family talk about as you have opportunity to control the conversation?

 

 

 

 

Ten Occasions When You Should Say Nothing

This is a recurring theme here. Maybe God is trying to tell us (me) something! This list was compiled by Lina Abrujama at the blog True Woman under the title, Ten Times It’s Wise to Hold Your Tongue

I talk too much. Way, way too much.

But God is committed to teaching me when to hold my tongue.

With that in mind, let me share ten situations with you where I’m learning it’s better to refrain from talking:

1. When you have no idea what to say

Proverbs 17:28: “Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent.”

2. When you’re wrongly accused

1 Peter 2:23: “When he was reviled, he did not revile in return.”

Isaiah 53:7: “He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth.”

3. When you’re mad

Proverbs 25:28: “Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control.”

4. When you’re confused about life

Lamentations 3:25–28: “The Lord is good for those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him. It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord . . . Let him sit alone in silence when it is laid on him; let him put his mouth to the dust—there may yet be hope.”

5. When you wouldn’t want someone else to find out you said it

Luke 12:3: “Therefore whatever you have said in the dark shall be heard in the light, and what you have whispered in private rooms shall be proclaimed on the housetops.”

6. When you don’t really mean it

Proverbs 3:28: “Do not say to your neighbor ‘Go, and come again, tomorrow I will give it,’ when you have it with you.”

7. When you can’t stop yearning for the good old days

Ecclesiastes 7:10: “Say not, why were the former days better than these? For it is not from wisdom that you ask this.”

8. When you have a lot to do and you don’t like it

Philippians 2:14: “Do all things without grumbling or complaining.”

9. When the timing is wrong

Proverbs 25:11: “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in setting of silver.”

10. When you don’t have anything to say that gives grace

Ephesians 4:29: “Let no corrupt talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear it.”

Knowing When to Say Nothing

Tomorrow at Thinking Out Loud, we’re introducing the ministry of Steve McVey, so I felt it would be helpful to readers here to introduce you to Steve as well, but through his blog.  This post first appeared there in January under the title, The Grace to Shut Up.

“I just say whatever is on my mind,” a person who was expressing an opinion in an animated way recently said to me. I didn’t respond to the comment, but couldn’t help but think about the Bible verse that says, “A fool uttereth his whole mind, but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards” (Proverbs 29:11, KJV).

When I was young man I felt an internal mandate to not only express my opinion, but also to convince others that mine was the right way to see a matter. I’m not sure if it’s simply a matter of maturing with age or maturing in grace, or maybe a combination of the two, but I don’t feel the need to always make others agree with me anymore. To the contrary, I find myself often saying nothing at times when my thoughts may be in direct contradiction to what somebody may be expressing to me.

The Bible makes it clear that there is a virtue in learning when and how to be quiet. James wrote that we should be quick to hear, but slow to speak. (See James 4:19) Paul wrote to “let your speech be always with grace” (Colossians 4:6). Another time he taught that we should study to be quiet and mind our own business. (See 1 Thessalonians 4:11)

Highly opinionated babblers can be trying at times. I know because I used to be one. Maybe I still am at times, I’m not sure. I do know that I’m a verbal processor who tends to sort through things by talking about them. I recognize that I need grace to enable me to shut-up sometimes.

When I see opinionated, non-stop talkers like the one I mentioned in the first paragraph, I occasionally ask myself, “Do I still act like that at times?” That’s certainly not what I want.

Do you say too much, too often? If so, pray for God’s grace to flow through your actions in such a way as to cause you to know when to say nothing and then enable you to do it. Sometimes grace never looks better than when it enable us to simply shut-up.

Steve McVey

On Friendship, Baptism and Repenting of Righteousness

“…spurring one another on towards love and good deeds.” (Heb. 10:24)  Bizarrely, the closer some relationships are, the more permissive they can become; and our passion to do what is right is diluted. As we feel able to relax completely with trusted friends, we can abuse the sense of ease by letting our behavior slip. Gradually language that we would never use in public slips into the conversation and off-white humour that we know is inappropriate becomes part of the common currency of our friendship, because we feel able to let our hair down. The friendship has now become one that gives permission (where we give each other a license to compromise) rather than providing exhortation (where we encourage each other towards character and excellence). ~Jeff Lucas, writing in Lucas on Life, devotional reading for Jan 20, 2005.

Like birth, baptism means life. It is done once, yet it is for all of our life….we need to discover ways to communicate baptismal living. If I say, “I was married,” you will likely assume that my wife has died or I am divorced. But if I say, “I am married,” you will assume I have a wife and that on a certain date I was married and still am. Although it is true and essential to say I was baptized, it is also necessary to assert, “I am baptized.” ~Thomas H. Schattauer

“…What must we do, then to be saved? To find God we must repent of the things we have done wrong, but if that is all you do you may remain just an elder brother. To truly become Christians we must also repent of the reasons we ever did anything right. Pharisees only repent of their sins, but Christians repent for the very roots of their righteousness, too. We must learn how to repent of the sin under all our other sins and under all our righteousness — the sin of seeking to be our own Savior and Lord. We must admit that we’ve put our ultimate hope and trust in things other than God, and that in both our wrongdoing and right doing we have been seeking to get around God or get control of God in order to get hold of these things.” ~ Timothy Keller in The Prodigal God, 2008 Dutton; pp 77-8; see also Prov. 16:2